Poop-a-palooza!

Before I get started I want to give a few disclaimers. 1. I am not complaining- just stating the events of the day. 2. There is a graphic poop scene in this story so don't read while you are eating brownies. 3. Don't be afraid of our house. I sterilized all defiled areas in the story and the house is actually cleaner than before the "incident".

This was not the easiest day I've ever had as a mom and it proves that I definitely do NOT have a glamorous job, by any means.

The day started out fine but at 10am I made mistake #1. I woke the boys up early from their nap to attend story time at the library. As soon as I woke them up, Sam was pi$$ed off sumpin' fierce! After getting their shoes and jackets on I was out the door by 10:05am - all the while Sam does not stop crying. I first try to put Sam in the car and he stiffens up like a board. I try for 5 minutes to "fold" him so I can buckle him in. After 5 minutes I give up and take him back inside, pick up Ben, and put Ben into his car seat without incident. Attempt #2 with Sam - 10:12am. He continues to stiffen like a board and cry until he is blowing snot bubbles out of his nose. Finally, at 10:20am I am able to force fold him enough that I can buckle him in. Off we go...all the while Sam is crying the entire way to the library.

I meet my friend Karen and her son in the parking lot of the library. Luckily, Karen is awesome and always helps me when one or both of my boys are actin' a foo - as a mom, I think she can just sense my desperation during these times. Karen takes her son and Ben (in a stroller) in the library and into storytime. I park and come in with Sam. As soon as I walk through the front door I hear screaming and crying....of course, that is Ben "enjoying" storytime. Sam and I walk into storytime and both boys now are really upset as evidenced by the incessant sobbing. I take them out of the room and we miss storytime - the boys are finally happy sitting in a corner with me reading them a library book and them eating a snack (which they later dumped all over the library floor).

So, I'm already a little frazzled from the morning. We get home and I feed the boys lunch then take off both of their diapers to let them "air out" and change their diaper. I take off Ben's and then Sam's and shortly put another diaper on Sam. I look for Ben to put another diaper on him and then the horror hits! I find him holding onto his baby gate, poop all over the floor. As I turn the corner he is throwing a piece under the table while he is finger painting with it with the other hand. Maggie is lurking dangerous close by. He also managed to smear it all over his legs, hands and obviously stepped in it because his socks now had brown soles. I gasped in shock!

I locked Sam and Maggie in the toy room so they couldn't get to Ben's little present he left and gave Ben a quick bath. This was after I wiped all the grossness off with baby wipes.

I get Ben out and dried off and immediately put a diaper on the kid. As I turned the same corner to the kitchen I see that there is no poop left on the floor! How is that possible, you ask?? It's because Maggie jumped the gate and was in the process of eating it! OMG! How could she?! Maggie gets her butt booted outside and I closed the door with the same look of disgust that's been on my face for the past 15 minutes. I dress Ben and put him in bed (it's past nap time). I pick up Sam to put on his pants and put him to bed, as well. It's not that easy, of course. Sam has pooped too! It is nearly impossible to change Sam's diaper so this is not what I needed right now. I lay him down and he start crying uncontrollably. I take off his diaper and he has, in his diaper, the poop of the century. Once i get his diaper off he immediately flips over and wipes himself on the couch. So, I have another mess to clean up- great. Somehow, I manage to wipe him off and he scatters to the floor. As I am trying to put on his diaper he is rolling all over the place in fast forward and I can't get the diaper on. Finally, I do and put him in bed too! They fall asleep within a couple of minutes (thank goodness!).

I spent the next 30 minutes cleaning up what had just happened from Cloroxing the floors to wet wiping Maggie's mouth.

My wonderful husband brought home good beers and Five Guys hamburger and fries and rented a movie we have been wanting to see - so life is all good! And, yes, I'm still so incredibly thankful I get to stay home with my lil guys.